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The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad

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Have you ever had an abusive boss, a partner who gaslit you at every turn, or a friend who always seemed to bend the truth? You might have crossed paths with someone in the Dark Triad.

On this episode of Office Hours, I’m diving into a topic that doesn’t create happiness but often destroys it: the Dark Triad personality constellation. These are the people with three characteristics: narcissism (it’s all about them), Machiavellianism (they’re willing to hurt you), and psychopathy (they feel little empathy or remorse when they do).

Drawing on behavioral science research and evolutionary psychology, I explain what makes Dark Triads tick, how to recognize them before they hurt you, and why avoiding them is essential for your well-being. I also share what to look for instead—the Light Triad, people who trust others, believe in human dignity, and leave you feeling warm and uplifted in their presence.

I discuss:

• The core traits of the Dark Triad and how they drive destructive behavior

• Which careers and environments attract dark triads and how to spot the red flags

• How Machiavellianism shows up in politics (on both sides)

• The science of emophilia and why people who fall in love too fast are Dark Triad targets

• How Dark Triads thrive on social media (and the “first-date test” that can save you heartbreak)

• The telltale behaviors that reveal a Dark Triad in work, love, and online

• The defense tactic Dark Triads use when caught in a lie

• What the Light Triad looks like

• Audience Q&A on the connection between happiness and intelligence and how to comfort aging parents

We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at officehours@arthurbrooks.com. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening! 

Refereced:

Take the Dark Triad Quiz

Leadership and Happiness course

How to Build a Life

The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life

The Dark Triad of personality: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy

The Prince

Scott Barry Kaufman’s website

The Psychology Podcast

Dark Tetrad

•  The Criminal Psychopath: History, Neuroscience, Treatment, And Economics

A gender role view of the Dark Triad traits

Occupational niches and the Dark Triad traits

The Dark Triad of Personality at Work – why do organizations need to know about it?

Dark Triad traits and relationship dissolution

Political Hearts of Darkness: The Dark Triad as Predictors of Political Orientations and Interest in Politics

Why dark personalities participate in politics?

The interplay of the Dark Triad and social media use motives to social media disorder

A systematic literature review of the relationship between dark personality traits and antisocial online behaviours

Machiavellianism: The Dark Side of Political Ambition

How to Stop Dating People Who Are Wrong for You

David Buss on X

Evolutionary biology and personality psychology: Toward a conception of human nature and individual differences

When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault

The dark triad personality: Attractiveness to women

How the Dark Triad traits predict relationship choices

The relationship between age, gender and the dark triad of personality

Why the Dark Triad Has Little to Do With Being Successful

The Malevolent Side of Human Nature

Dark personality traits linked to engagement in environmental activism

Dark triad, partisanship and violent intentions in the United States

The dark tetrad personality traits moderate the relationship between ideological passion and violent activism

A Defense Against Gaslighting Sociopaths

Introducing the light triad

The Light vs. Dark Triad of Personality: Contrasting Two Very Different Profiles of Human Nature

•  Light and dark trait subtypes of human personality - A multi-study person-centered approach

How Smart People Can Stop Being Miserable

guest appearing in this episode

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(02:04) What is the Dark Triad personality type?

(06:09) How to take the Dark Triad test

(06:37) Why Dark Triads are more common than you think

(11:03) How to identify Dark Triad types

(15:24) The five things Dark Triads do in the workplace

(20:00) The five traits of Dark Triads in romantic relationships

(28:11) How the Dark Triad shows up in politics and activism

(32:11) Why social media is the perfect place for Dark Triads

(34:34) The nine red flags that reveal a Dark Triad

(37:05) DARVO: The defense Dark Triads use when caught

(38:38) The light triad: What to look for instead

(40:12) What’s the difference between joy and happiness?

(42:35) What’s the connection between intelligence and happiness? 

(44:22) How do I comfort my ailing and aging parents about their imminent death?

(46:30) Wrap up

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