America doesn’t have an anger problem. We have a contempt problem.
In this episode of Office Hours, I talk about how we can bring more love and happiness into a world that feels increasingly bitter and divided. Too often, contempt fills the space where love could exist. When we choose to love those who disagree with us, we not only make the world better, but we also make our own lives happier.
A lot of what I share today draws from my book Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt (2019). I reflect on what I’ve learned about standing up for those we oppose, and why real change starts when we take contempt personally. I hope you walk away from this episode remembering that behind every cruel remark or dehumanizing label is a person with inherent worth and dignity.
In the episode, I will also explore a psychological concept known as the Dark Triad—a trio of personality traits that can fuel conflict and polarization. If you're curious about how these traits show up in yourself or others, you can take a quick quiz at arthurbrooks.com/darktriads to see where you land.
We’d love to hear any feedback you have. Please email us at officehours@arthurbrooks.com. And please leave a review on Apple or Spotify. Thanks for listening!
Referenced:
• Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt
• America’s Crisis of Civic Virtue
• Motive attribution asymmetry for love vs. hate drives intractable conflict
• Contempt: an extended conversation with John Gottman
• Love Lab
• Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
• Negative persuasion via personal insult
• The sociopaths among us: How to spot (and avoid) a Dark Triad
• Neuroanatomic Structures and Neural Circuits of Habits
• The Social Functions of the Emotion Gratitude via Expression
• Gratitude: A tool for reducing economic impatience
• True Religion Means Loving Your Enemy
• The Dalai Lama and Arthur Brooks: All of us can break the cycle of hatred
• The As If Principle: The Radically New Approach to Changing Your Life
• Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism
